


The Major Lift

by The_Plaid_Slytherin



Category: Battlestar Galactica (2003)
Genre: AU - S4, Fix-It, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-31
Updated: 2014-03-31
Packaged: 2018-01-17 17:56:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 18,846
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1397155
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Plaid_Slytherin/pseuds/The_Plaid_Slytherin
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Bill's health forces him to step back in his work, Saul finds himself with more responsibility than he ever thought he could handle, but with Bill's encouragement, he finds a strength he didn't know he had to take charge of his life and work.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the Fix-It Big Bang. Thanks to lorrainemarker and newnumbertwo for betaing and to all the members of bsg_checkin for their support and encouragement.

Saul knew exactly what it was like. To be out there in your bird, just skimming the bottoms of the clouds. He could see himself not knowing when to pull out, not wanting to lose that feeling of being right on the edge. He'd never dream of telling Bill or Lee that, but he could see it happening.

He tossed back the drink on his desk. Why hadn't she come to him? They'd been getting along better than they ever had, which wasn't saying much, but since New Caprica, Saul and Starbuck had kind of been on the same page. They had a lot in common. Saul had thought he could help her some. He had certainly been there, been the reckless, hard-drinking pilot who couldn't keep his hands off the married guy. In the end, though, he'd failed her.

Saul leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling. He really was a screwup; he'd always been a screwup. But he couldn't go crawling to Bill now, even though he'd been sleeping in Bill's quarters every night since the Dance. He'd been closer to Kara than Saul would have ever been, and it wasn't fair to foist himself on Bill now, too much of a mess himself to offer comfort.

He laid his head down on his desk. Screwup. He'd always be a screwup. Should have been him in that storm….

The next thing he knew, someone was opening the hatch.

"What?" He jerked his head up from its position on his folded arms. Not many people would just let themselves in like that.

"Tigh." It was Lee. He was the last person Saul expected to see. He thought he'd have wanted to take some time to himself, to mourn on his own, much less think that Saul could be any comfort. He looked shaken enough as it was. "It's me. We have to talk." 

"What'cha need?"

Lee looked around, and Saul could almost see him turning up his nose at the mess. 

No. It wasn't that. Something was wrong. His hands were shaking. 

"Spit it out," he growled, pushing himself to his feet. He hated when someone withheld bad news. "Now, Apollo." 

"It's Dad. He's had a heart attack." His voice shook on that and he suddenly looked eight years old again. 

Saul's mouth dropped open. "You're not serious," he whispered.

"I found him on the floor," Lee went on, ignoring Saul's comment. "When I went in there to go over pilot schedules."

Saul's heart twisted. "Is he… Is he…"

"He's alive," Lee said quickly, swiping at his eyes. "He's in bad shape, though. You should come." 

Saul fumbled his way through putting on his jacket and trousers. He knew Bill would want him to remain restrained, to act like he was nothing more than Bill's friend and XO, but he'd tried that once when Bill had been shot and he wasn't going to do it again.

Doc Cottle met Saul and Lee when they entered sickbay.

"Can I see him?" Saul asked, trying to keep the anxiety out of his voice. 

Cottle nodded. "He's conscious. Come on back. Now that you're here, we can talk about the next steps."

Saul didn't think about what that meant—maybe Cottle had meant Lee, after all. He followed them back behind the privacy curtain where Bill's bed was.

He looked bad. His eyes were closed and his hands were so stiff and still on the blankets. Saul didn't want to disturb him, but he couldn't help reaching out to stroke the back of Bill's hand.

"Saul?" Bill hadn't been asleep after all. His eyes fluttered open. "Hey."

"How you feel?" Saul touched the back of his fingers to Bill's cheek.

"Bad," Bill admitted, and Saul knew he must feel worse than he'd ever felt in his life; otherwise, he'd be pretending to be all right. Saul's gaze drifted to the heart monitor Bill was hooked up to, as if he expected it to stop beeping at any second.

Cottle lit a cigarette. "I'm not going to beat around the bush, Admiral. Now that your son's here and your…" He trailed off, looking at Saul. "…him, I want to lay out the options. Your arteries are clogged to hell, and at your age, with your lifestyle and your history of high blood pressure, you're at huge risk from this happening again."

"What can you do?" Saul didn't know how to take the implication that Cottle knew about them. No time to worry about that now.

"My recommendation is bypass surgery. It's serious, but there's a cardiologist on _Rising Star_ I can bring over. You'll be down for a while, but it might save your life."

Bill looked up at Saul and Lee. "I don't want to leave all this work to you."

"Don't worry about that, Dad." Lee's voice shook. "Do what's going to make you better."

Bill looked at Saul for confirmation. "Anything," Saul confirmed. "Anything that'll help you, I'll do. Don't care what it is. You're priority one."

Bill gave a relieved smile. "I'm so glad I have you two here for me. I'm sorry about this."

Saul had never seen Bill like this and it worried him. Even when he'd been shot, he was trying to get out of bed as soon as he was conscious. Bill was never one to let anything get him down.

"Don't be. We'll take care of things," Lee said. "You just work on recovering."

**

After working out the details with Cottle, Saul and Lee left sickbay.

"He's just under so much stress," Lee said. "I can't believe I didn't see the signs… I know he took Kara's… Kara's death hard, we all did."

"Hey." Saul slapped a hand on Lee's shoulder. "Don't blame yourself. I was trying to give him space. If I hadn't…."

"No." Lee sighed. "Neither of us spotted it. We just have to do what he'd do. Keep going."

Saul rubbed the back of his neck. "I guess one of us should announce it to the crew."

"You should." Lee met his gaze firmly. "You're Acting Commander now, whether you like it or not, and it could become permanent. I'm not going to let what happened when he got shot happen again." 

"Hey, now, I—"

"And you remember what happened. Do you want a repeat of that?"

Saul sighed. "No."

"Look." Lee put his hand on Saul's arm, but his gaze was still firm. "We have our differences—" Saul snorted at this. "—but he obviously loves you and you've kept him together this far. You're not perfect, but you've been around for him when I haven't, that's for sure. I'm willing to give you a chance. Go speak to your men."

Saul frowned. He didn't like it, but he had to admit Lee was right—he had screwed it up the last time he was in command, as much as Bill wouldn't admit that. Bill, who was always covering for him, patching up the holes Saul left in his wake. That wasn't fair, either.

"Yeah, well," he said to Lee's departing form, "that makes you Acting XO. Get your ass to CIC, Apollo."

Lee spun. "Me? What about Kelly?" 

Saul smirked. "You were in the brig last time. Missed out on a lot."

At first, he thought Lee would have some comeback, but he just shook his head, smiling faintly. "Yes, sir." 

**

The mic felt odd in his hand, despite the countless times he'd used it in the heat of battle. He'd never had to make an announcement of this much gravity, though. He took a deep breath.

"This is the XO." That was the title he'd use until he had to give it up. "Earlier today, the Admiral was taken to sickbay following a heart attack." He tried not to let the gasps of the crew in CIC get to him. "He'll be having surgery in order to stabilize his condition. I'm sure he would appreciate the thoughts and prayers of this crew."

He put the mic down with shaking hands and retired to his quarters.

**

The day of Bill's surgery, Saul sat with him in sickbay until they kicked him out. The next few hours were passed locked in his quarters with a bottle. He'd been drinking less and less since moving in with Bill, which made this an even harder crash, here in the room that smelled like old sweat socks. There were no sheets on the bed and hardly any clothes as he'd slowly moved his uniforms and favorite T-shirts to Bill's quarters. It had happened so gradually he was surprised by how empty the place looked, but he didn't feel right going to Bill's quarters without him there.   
He'd be back and they'd curl up in Bill's rack again, make love. Saul didn't know what kind of restrictions Bill might be under post-op, but he'd hope for the best.

He was only mildly buzzed when Lee came in. He ignored the bottle. "He's out of surgery," he said, without preamble. "He's in recovery. They'll let us know when we can see him."

Saul rubbed his eye blearily. "Thanks."

Lee opened his mouth, then closed it again. "Why don't you get some rest?" he suggested. "That way, when you see him, you can be—"

"Sober?" Saul pushed himself up.

"I was going to say _rested_ , but yes," Lee said archly. "If you really love him, you'll pull yourself together and do your job. He's been picking up after you for as long as I can remember."

Saul buried his head in his hands. He hated hearing it, especially from Lee. He'd stopped trying to impress Bill's kids after he could never get through to Lee (Zak had liked him lords knew why). Bill had convinced him it was okay, but part of Saul had always wanted a hint of that family atmosphere, had always wondered what might have happened if he and Bill had gotten married and actually made that family a reality.

"He's not out of the woods yet, but he's alive," Lee went on. "That's all that matters. So you go sleep it off and then we'll go see him together. We'll work on what happens next."

Saul studied the younger man critically. That had sounded almost Bill-like, hinted at more of his father in him than Saul had ever suspected of Lee. He got up and flopped onto the bare mattress and watched Lee move around his quarters, bottle in hand.

"You going to finish that?"

"I'm going to get rid of it." Lee opened the locker. "Where's the rest?"

Saul groaned. "Binder. One of 'em's empty. Think it says…"

"Postflight procedures?"

"Yeah."

Saul closed his eye and rolled over, listening to the clinking of the glass.

"Next stop is Dad's. He shouldn’t be drinking in his condition anyway, so he won't miss it." The hatch shut with a clang of finality.

Saul didn't know how long he'd dozed for before Lee woke him.

"We can see him now." Lee had a look of purpose about him and Saul was glad for that. A new start. That was just what they needed.

Saul changed into clean blues and followed Lee to sickbay. Bill was still groggy from the anesthesia and the first thing he asked for was a drink of water. Saul held the cup to his lips and helped him drink slowly. His eye kept straying down to the chest tube. 

"That's better," Bill croaked. "How are you two doing?"

"We're fine," Saul said. "Lee's already shaping up to be a hell of XO."

Bill smiled. "That's good. Nice to see you two working together."

Saul and Lee exchanged tight smiles. "We're doing fine," Lee said.

"You need anything?" Saul asked.

"Yeah, to get out of here."

"Yeah, well, not yet." Saul covered one of Bill's hands with his own. "You listen to what Doc tells you, okay? Lee and I can hold down the fort plenty well."

Bill seemed content with this. He closed his eyes.

"This is what I've always wanted to see," he murmured softly. "If anything happens to me, it's nice to know you two would take care of each other."

Saul wasn't too sure about that. "Nothing's gonna happen to you." He brushed back Bill's hair. It looked more gray than ever. "You rest and you'll be back on your feet."

"Yeah, resting sounds like a good idea." Bill reached out and Lee took his other hand. They stood like that for a while, feeling oddly family-like. In a few minutes, Bill's eyes closed and he slipped back to sleep.

"I'm glad he's doing well," Lee said, as he and Saul left sick bay.

"Yeah. Right." Saul ran his hand over his head. "You want to draw up some duty schedules since you're off flight duty for now?"

Saul didn't mind working with Lee when they were united on an objective like this. He knew he was bright, but seeing him in action was something else. Lee had lots of great ideas that showed he was really in touch with the way things were with the crew. Bill was a genius officer, but he was a little out of touch.

Luckily, they didn't encounter the Cylons. Saul wasn't worried about handling them, but he didn't want to give Bill any anxiety. Bill was nothing if not a worrywart, especially when he couldn't do anything but lie in bed. His daily briefings contained nothing more complicated than an easily-repaired fuel leak.

Saul wondered, though, if even telling Bill this wasn't doing more harm than good.

**

"Hey, when are we gonna see your lazy ass out of that rack, Adama? Seems like every time I come in here, you're asleep."

Bill opened his eyes. "They tried to walk me across sickbay. Didn't make it."

"Oh, Bill." Laura brushed his hair back and kissed him on the forehead before sitting down in the chair beside his bed. "I'm sorry. I was just joking."

"I know." Bill tried to push himself up into a sitting position. "I just feel like a useless lump these days." He rubbed at his messy hair. "Don't even have a comb."

"Well, if you're bored…" Laura reached into her briefcase and withdrew two books. "I brought you something to read."

"You didn't have to do that." Still, he couldn't disguise the eagerness with which he reached for them. "I appreciate it. I've wanted something to do. Saul keeps me briefed, but I think he's holding back."

"Mm." Laura supposed that was true—Saul wouldn't want to upset Bill by adding to his stress. She wondered if this would be the right time to bring up her idea. "Well, if you're in the mood to hear something about work, let me tell you what I'd like to institute."

Bill set the books aside and tugged at his hospital gown, clearly wishing that it was his duty blues and they were in his quarters.

"I'm thinking of forming a cabinet. It's becoming clear to me that I need specialized advice on the various areas of importance in the fleet. I think it would be valuable to have that in an official capacity."

"So, what areas were you thinking?"

She had to be careful how she introduced it. "Someone who works with tylium, certainly. Someone in charge of food… maintenance… the military."

Bill pushed his glasses up. "The military? I'm not sure I can spare anyone."

"What about you?"

"Me?" Bill blinked, then gave an awkward laugh. "Laura, I have a ship to command. I'll give you all the advice you need, but it can't be a full-time job like that."

"So that's your plan? Go right back in to all that stress?"

Bill frowned. "I'll be making some changes, but I can't just stop working."

"And what? Work yourself to death next time?"

Bill bristled. "I can't leave Saul in charge. I don't want to dump that in his lap."

"He'll be in charge when you die, Bill. Why hasten that? And you can't pretend he's not more to you than an XO forever. It's not fair to either of you to throw yourself away like this."

She could tell she'd upset Bill, but it was something she had to do if she cared about her friend. He was just too stubborn to figure it out on his own.

**

As the days went on, Bill's color and strength started to improve. Despite this, Saul couldn't shake the sensation that something was still wrong. He seemed a little sad, even after being released from sickbay. When this happened, Saul went back to Bill's quarters to stay with him. He knew part of Bill's sullen mood was due to needing help with things, still, like getting ready for bed.

"Not all bad, though, is it?" Saul asked, as he handed Bill a towel. "Get to take showers with me."

"Yeah." Bill had a faint smile on his face, as he toweled off his hair. "I do like that."

Saul helped Bill dress in silence—he knew Bill was self-conscious about needing help stepping into his underwear, so he didn't want to make him talk, too.

But it was Bill who spoke.

"Laura offered me a job the other day." Bill had a hand on the counter, catching his breath.

"A job?" Saul reached for his toothbrush. "You already have a job." He dabbed on some toothpaste and began brushing.

"I know. She offered me a different one. She's forming a cabinet of advisors and she wants me to be her military one." He didn't quite meet Saul's eyes in the mirror.

Saul took his toothbrush out of his mouth. "You don't have time for that! Thought we were giving you less stress, not more." He spat.

Bill reached for his own toothbrush. "This _is_ less stress, Saul. It would be my only job."

"Only job?" Saul knew what the words meant, but he couldn't quite process them.

"Yes." Bill looked down at his toothbrush, as if he didn't know what to do with it. "I'd resign as Commander of _Galactica_."

"You... You can't. This is your ship." Saul couldn't imagine _Galactica_ without Bill.

"Saul, other commanders had her before I did. No reason others can't come after me." Bill began brushing his teeth.

"But..." Saul frowned. Bill was absorbed in brushing his teeth and didn't speak again until he'd rinsed.

"I think this would be good for us, too. We could be more open."

"About what?" Saul backed out of Bill's way as he reached for a towel.

"About _us_ , Saul." Bill wiped his mouth, then draped his towel over his shoulder. "We could get married, maybe."

Saul's eyebrow quirked. "You'd want to marry me?"

"Oh, Saul." Bill cupped his cheek, giving him that firm blue gaze that always set Saul's stomach swimming. "That's been my goal all along. Always my goal."

"Are you sure? Then everybody'd know."

Bill laughed and pulled Saul into a hug. "I don't think we have much to worry about there. Did you listen to anything Cottle said while I was laid up?"

Saul smirked. "But that's Cottle. This would be the whole crew. You always said regs were so important."

Bill pulled back, studying him. "I did, didn't I? That was before this…" He cut his eyes down to his chest and the scar that peeked out from the neck of his tanks. "Funny how even the attacks didn't make me think straight."

"You're really serious? Don't you want more time to think it over?"

"I've been thinking it over. And it's what I want, Saul, if you want."

Saul stared at him. He'd never let himself seriously think about being married to Bill. Maybe it was the fact that he'd screwed up marriage before, but he wasn't sure Bill would have wanted to marry him.

But he did. At least, he said he did.

"Of course I want it." He traced his finger over Bill's brow, as lightly as he could. Saul wasn't a man given to light touches, but he always thought Bill deserved them. "I love you."

He kissed him. It was their first real, proper kiss since Bill's heart attack and Saul savored it, remembering the days when he thought he might lose Bill for good.

"So, is that it then?" he asked, resting his forehead against Bill's. "We gonna do it? Get hitched?"

"Looks like." Bill's smile was irresistible, all white teeth and soft eyes. He looked young again, when he smiled like that. "Kind of a lot to take in. Feel like I'm dumping a lot on your plate."

Saul had almost forgotten what had started them on this conversation, Saul becoming commander. But if Bill would do better with a more low-key job…

"Doesn't matter a whit," he said, kissing him.

He'd figure out how to deal with whatever came up. He'd have to.

**

"How are preparations for the trial coming?" Bill curled his arm slowly, trying not to overdo it. He was starting with weights today and he was already out of breath.

"Well, Alan Hughes has volunteered to defend him." He could hear the disdain in her voice. "I wonder if he realizes he's not going to get his face plastered all over the Colonial News Network."

Bill laughed. "Well, at least he's got a lawyer. He has his work cut out for him."

"And what about you." Laura closed her file and leaned forward, work done for the afternoon. "How are you doing?"

Bill rubbed his arm. "Well, I feel halfway human. Still a little fuzzy-headed."

"And Saul?"

"What about him?"

"How's he handling his new job?"

"He's doing great." Bill put the weight down and sat, tugging at his tanks. "Lee's a good choice for his XO."

She laid a hand over his. "Are you really okay with this?"

"I had to think on it for a while," he said, "but I know I'm leaving this ship in good hands."

"Mm, and have we made any wedding plans?"

Bill leaned back in his chair. "We did set a date. Next month. We wanted to get it done before the trial. I doubt it'll be the wedding of the century."

"Oh, you underestimate the press." Laura smiled. "I hope you realize you two can't do this without your picture in the newssheets."

"I think I can talk him into a picture."

"I really can't say how I happy I am for you two. I know how long you've waited."

Bill chuckled. "Yeah, I think I kind of wrote it off a long time ago. Never imagined we'd ever get to a place where it would be possible. I know I considered retirement—thought maybe we'd eventually make our way there. And then the Cylons hit…" He shook his head.

"Now it's your chance. Take it. Do what you've denied yourselves for all these years. And _enjoy it_."

Bill felt a slow smile spread across his face. "You know what? I think I will."

**

The day Bill walked into CIC for the last time as _Galactica_ 's commanding officer was a bittersweet moment. He'd purposely waited until he could get around completely on his own before making the announcement. He would go out on his own terms, making sure the crew knew that.

Applause went up when he entered CIC. He smiled at the crew and raised his hand, looking at each of them. He wasn't really going anywhere, but he'd miss seeing them all working together, like a well-oiled machine.

"Thank you," he said. He nodded at Dee and she flicked the switch that would allow the whole ship to hear him.

"It's been an honor serving with all of you. It means so much to me that you've all stuck by me on our journey. It's been long, and we've had a hard road. Each and every one of you have made valued contributions to the continued safety of this fleet, as you will go on to do."

He paused, glancing at Saul. He was standing tall, hands behind his back, looking every inch the soldier. It made Bill love him all the more.

"And thus, it is with a heavy heart that I announce my resignation as commanding officer of this ship." There were gasps from around CIC and he noticed Saul stiffen a bit. Bill caught Dee's eye and she gave him the smile he needed to continue. "As you know, I've had some health issues and Doc Cottle tells me this isn't the ideal job for a post-heart-attack patient." There was some laughter, and he smiled. "I've been offered a position on the President's newly-formed cabinet, which I've accepted. I hope this opportunity will still give me ways to help this fleet and all of you. I won't be going anywhere, and I still welcome anyone who needs to talk to come and find me. I can't say how much my time in command of this ship has meant to me and I know I leave you in good hands."

Only now could he turn to look at Saul. "Commander Tigh." Saul still looked composed, but Bill could tell he was fighting to keep his expression neutral.

For a moment, Bill felt a pang of sadness that this was ending, the perfect partnership that had gotten them this far. From _Sedulana_ to _Galactica_ , Saul had been at his side every step of the way, and that wouldn't change. From now on, it would be as his husband, not his XO, but they would go on.

He wondered if Saul was thinking that too as he snapped off a salute. "Sir!" The rest of the CIC crew saluted as one.

"At ease," Lee announced, and the crew dissolved into more applause. Bill smiled, acknowledging them and moved closer to Saul.

He'd been doubting if this was the right decision, but more than ever now, it felt right. Nothing was changing.

**

Saul woke up alone on the morning of their wedding, in his old quarters. (At least there were sheets on the bed.) Bill had had this ridiculous idea about not seeing him before the ceremony. It was some Tauron thing, and while Bill was the least superstitious person Saul knew, he figured one such request in a lifetime was worth indulging. 

Saul kicked off the covers and got out of bed. Married. They were getting married today. It still didn't quite feel real, the way Bill had been so enthusiastic about this. He remembered back when they were young and this felt like the natural progression of events--Bill, the young divorcé with two kids and the idea that one day, they'd get off the freighter and settle down, maybe take over one of his uncle's garages (the fact that Uncle Sam's garages were all fronts for the Ha'la'tha never played into Saul's daydreams). Then the letter had arrived and Bill had been gone. Oh, he'd come back for Saul and they'd had the best years of their lives, together in the military, but he'd lost that dream. 

He caught himself smiling in the mirror. Yeah, there was no garage but this wasn't so far from his old dream, the two of them muddling through it. They were just a little older, a little grayer. 

In the end, it was pretty much a wash. 

He was just straightening the sash on his dress grays when Bulldog let himself in. 

"Today's the big day. How're you doing?" 

Saul patted his jacket. "Think I look presentable."

"That you do. I think you'll make the Old Man very happy." Bulldog smiled at him. When it had first occurred to Saul that he needed a best man, Bulldog had been his first thought. He wanted him there either way and he'd jumped at the chance to be a part of it. He'd tracked him down on _Rising Star_ and laid out the plan. 

He and Bulldog had been good friends back on _Valkyrie_ , drinking buddies. Bulldog hadn't officially known about Bill and Saul, but when Saul had revealed it to him, Saul realized he'd figured it out, bastard. Regardless, he was the closest thing Saul had to a friend other than Bill, so best man he was.

The walk down to _Galactica_ 's chapel seemed longer than it ever had. Saul didn't often go to regular services; he couldn't remember the last time he'd been down there. 

The hatch was closed. Saul took a deep, fortifying breath and pulled it open. The voices on the other side died down and Bill looked up from talking to Laura. He smiled and something warm dropped into Saul's stomach. This was right. This was absolutely right. Nothing could be more right than this: taking Bill's hand like it was the easiest thing in the world and moving up to the front altar. 

"Are we ready to begin?" Brother Walsh asked. 

It was an Aerilon ceremony. Bill wasn't religious, so he'd let Saul have the blessings of his patrons. Even Saul wasn't totally convinced it would do any good, but he figured it was better safe than sorry. 

Saul wasn't listening to the particulars, though he did remember the words he was supposed to say and when he was supposed to say them. Bill's pronunciation was better than his was. 

Then it came to the important part. Bulldog handed Saul the ring. It had been a last-minute surprise on Laura's part to get them their own rings. She'd used the same jeweler she'd gone to for Bill's pins, and Saul was surprised at how well they matched what they probably would have picked out for themselves.

Saul tried to stop his hands from shaking. He had to find Bill's finger, he had to not drop the ring. 

"I love you," he mumbled, probably too quiet for the members of the crew in attendance to hear. "I was at the end of my rope when you found me. Don't think I'd have lived too long if you hadn't got to me first. Still can't believe you wanted to be my friend, much less my…" He swallowed hard. "My husband." If he didn't do it now, he really was going to lose it. He grabbed Bill's hand and shoved the ring on, a little more forcefully than people did in commercials.

Bill turned to take the ring from Lee, then took Saul's hand. "You've always taken care of me, always been there for me. I don't think I've ever really told you how much you mean to me, but I think I can start. Just know that I've been waiting for this day for thirty years and I still think I might be dreaming." He slipped the ring on Saul's finger far more gently than Saul had done for him. 

Saul almost didn't believe that they were kissing, kissing in front of everyone. For the first time, he was able to dismiss the worries that everyone was judging him. What the hell did it matter? He had his Bill, that was what mattered. 

"With this kiss," Brother Walsh intoned, "William and Saul have sealed their bond of marriage before the gods and in the laws of men. Let us rejoice with them." 

Cally's tape of traditional Aerilon wedding music didn't beat a live band, but they retreated down the aisle arm-in-arm as the chairs were moved aside for dancing. 

Saul had been a little wary of letting everyone in--he knew how private Bill was, after all, but Bill had insisted. The crew needed some joy, something to celebrate. They didn't do too much dancing, but Saul didn't think they were missed as they slipped out, hand-in-hand, after the first couple of dances. 

"Just want to spend time with you," Bill said, draping his arm around Saul's shoulder. A crewman walked by and Saul flinched. This would take some getting used to. 

"Well, you've got me." Saul smiled and patted Bill's hand. "For as long work lets you." 

Bill wasn't ready to have sex yet, but they spent an evening cuddling and talking about old times. They got out a photo album and traced their progress through the years, before falling into a deep and rewarding sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Their honeymoon was short-lived. The next morning, the comm woke Saul early. Groaning, he fumbled for it and brought it down to his ear. "XO. Er. Tigh." 

Beside him, Bill shifted. 

"I'm sorry to interrupt you," Laura said, "but we drew names for the jury today and you're on it." 

The fog in Saul's brain shifted. "Me?" He sat up. "But I'm not a ship's captain." 

He could hear her smile. "Yes, you are." 

"Oh, right." Saul rubbed the back of his head. "Maybe Bill should hear this." He flicked the switch to put Laura on speaker. 

"What is it?" Bill sat up and reached for his glasses. 

Laura explained what she'd already told Saul. 

"Well, we knew it could happen," Bill said. "Short of removing your name from the drawing… Either way, Cassidy wants to meet with you right away." 

They got dressed in relative silence. 

"I guess a one-day honeymoon was enough," Bill said. 

"Plenty of time for all that later." Saul kissed him. "When you're cleared." 

"Yeah." Bill patted his chest. "When I'm cleared." 

Saul still wasn't used to the Commander's pins, to the looks he got in the halls, to Cassidy greeting him with a curt, "Commander." 

"Ms. Cassidy." They shook hands. "You've met my husband?" He had to suppress a smile at being able to say this. 

"Yes, it's good to see you again, Admiral." She smiled. "Congratulations." 

The greetings over, Cassidy's expression changed. "I hope you all understand what's at stake here." 

Saul crossed his arms over his chest. "Why don't you tell us?" 

He could already see he wouldn't be popular with her. "With you on the jury, there goes one of our key witnesses." 

Saul ran his tongue over his teeth. He hadn't been looking forward to testifying at the trial, and, truthfully, he was a little relieved to be out of it. 

"He can always recuse himself, can't he?" Bill said. "If he's more valuable as a witness." 

"Yes," Laura said. She paused. "That's why Baltar's camp didn't object to the jury selection, isn't it? They'd rather have Saul on the jury than as a witness."

Cassidy nodded. 

"So what do we do about that?" Saul asked. "Do I step back?" 

"No." Cassidy paused, then turned to Bill and Laura. "Can I speak to him privately?" 

"Of course." Bill gave him a sympathetic smile before leaving. 

"Right." Cassidy studied him. "I know you were high up in the resistance. You were in detention?"

Saul gestured to his eye. "What do you think?" 

"This is what they'd ask you at trial, Commander. I'm testing you out as a witness."

"Oh. Right." Saul shifted in his seat, folded his hands. "Okay." 

"When you were in detention, did you see Gaius Baltar?" 

"No." 

"Did you hear the Cylons speak of Gaius Baltar?"

"No." 

She made a note on her clipboard. "And you were involved in the resistance. In what capacity?" 

Saul cleared his throat. "Should I say all of it?" 

"You can say all of it."

"Okay. I was the commander. I delegated missions, assigned jobs. Built a few bombs, too." 

"Did you ever personally attempt to kill Gaius Baltar?" 

"I sent a man to do it, with explosives I designed. He died, and Baltar wasn't even there." 

She wrote something else down. He bristled. This was getting irritating. 

"What can you tell me about this Circle?" 

Saul's mouth went dry. "I thought those were sealed." 

"You're immune from prosecution on anything you may incriminate yourself in, but it doesn't mean you wouldn't have to answer the question." 

He sighed. "Okay. Between us, right?" She nodded. "When we got back to the fleet there was this weird… us versus them thing going on. Couldn't see how bad it was at the time, but we just wanted justice. We didn't have Baltar, but we wanted to get rid of the traitors, anybody who'd collaborated. We found NCP guys… found people who helped the Cylons… we almost airlocked Baltar's aide before we found out he was the mole who'd been giving us the intel. It was all a big frakking mess, but I was in a bad place; we all were." 

Cassidy nodded. "I understand." 

Saul twisted his ring on his finger. "Did that help?" 

"Yes, it did. I'm going to recommend that you stay on as a juror. I don't think you have anything unique that outweighs what some lawyer who gets their claws into is going to pull out." 

"You think I'm a bad witness?" 

Her expression softened. "No, Commander. I think I'd just rather save you from having to relive it all." 

That made him feel somewhat better about himself. 

**

As the trial date approached, Saul's nerves mounted. He didn't dare share them with Bill, though. His condition was improving, per his checkups and the rehab he'd started. Still, it was hard not having someone to talk to. He wondered if Bulldog would be available to chat. 

"How do you feel about this?" 

Saul looked up from the console. He'd been staring down, lost in thought. 

"About what?" 

"The trial." Lee pitched his voice low. "You going to be okay to be on the jury?" 

Saul frowned. "I've been sober this whole time." 

"Not what I'm asking." Lee gave him a sheepish smile. "Sorry. I guess it's my fault you assumed that's what I meant. No, I just wondered if you were nervous."

Saul looked at the clock. Bill would still be at his rehab. "Mr. Gaeta, you have the deck." 

Lee followed him to his quarters. Saul was conscious how much he was drawing from Bill's command style here—how many times had they done this?

He had to resist the urge to go to the drinks cart. There was nothing there anymore. He sat on the couch and patted the cushion invitingly. 

"Sit," he said. "If you're gonna be my XO, we should talk." 

Lee lowered himself into the seat. "So. What's bothering you?"

Saul sighed. "Just having it all come back. New Caprica. Ellen. It's not something I want to relive, especially… especially since…" 

"Since you married Dad?" Lee asked gently. Saul nodded. 

"He knows everything that went on down there. Nothing's gonna be a surprise. I just don't want to see that bastard again, think about all that stuff." 

The last thing he needed was for the nightmares to come back when Bill was having trouble sleeping.

"Well, at least you don't have to testify." Lee leaned back against the couch. "How do you feel about being a juror?"

Saul rubbed his chin. "Don't think it should be up to me."

"You have as much of a right to be there as any of them," Lee assured him. "You're a ship's captain. Your name got drawn. And it's not just up to you. You'll have the rest of your jury to fall back on, talk with them." He laughed sheepishly. "You know, I wanted to be a lawyer for a while there. Did Dad ever tell you that?" 

Saul snickered. "He told me you were a true Adama. Doing exactly what his dad didn't want him to do. Your dad was rebelling against his dad when he joined the Fleet, you know. You were doing the same thing when you thought about following your grandpa." 

Lee laughed. "I probably should have realized that." 

They were quiet for a few moments, before Lee said, "I'm glad you make him happy. Someone should. I know I spent all those years resenting you, but you do make him happy in a way Mom didn't. I always thought it was a mess—him sticking around because you couldn't take care of yourself, you letting him." He paused. "But it's not like that, is it?" 

"Depends on your interpretation." Saul smirked. "For a long time, I didn't know what he saw in me. Still can't say I'm really sure." He looked down at the ring on his finger. "Figure it must be something, though." 

"And I am not the one to tell you what it is."

Saul laughed, and after a few seconds, Lee laughed, too. He really was a good kid—fun to tease. Maybe he wouldn't do too bad as an XO. Or a stepson. 

Then, the comm buzzed with bad news. It was always bad news.

**

Saul couldn't say that the loss of Alan Hughes was a great one for humanity. He had to admit his priority was Racetrack's safety, and after that, maybe damage to the Raptor. His replacement wasn't much better, especially with that damn animal always underfoot.

"That thing doesn't leave his quarters, understand?" Saul told Matthias as he stripped the sheets off his rack. He carried them to the head and shoved them down the chute. "The last thing Bill needs is to have his allergies aggravated because Lampkin's cat took a nap in our bed."

"I'm sorry, sir." Matthias looked nervous, like this was something she didn't need to know. Well, where did she think Saul slept? It _was_ their bed.

"And he doesn't leave the ship, too. Make sure the pilots and deck crew know that. Easiest way to keep bombs off Raptors is to stop putting the target on Raptors. If they want him dead, they'll have to find some way that doesn't damage my hardware." 

"Yes, sir." 

"Anything else?" Saul glanced over to where Dee was starting to make the bed. New pillows. Good. 

"He's been complaining about noises. He says he thinks the comm's bugged." 

"I can take a look at it," Dee cut in. She smoothed the comforter over the bed. "Even if it turns out to be nothing, he can't doubt the word of the ship's comms officer." 

Matthias saluted. "I'll tell him that." She took her leave.

"You have the time?" Saul asked Dee. 

"Yeah." She gave him a thin smile. "I've got time." 

"Is it safe to come in?" Bill nudged the hatch open. 

"Yeah." Saul resisted the urge to rush right over to him. "All clear."

"Thanks, both of you." He leaned over to kiss Saul, and hugged Dee. "Your new commander running you ragged?" 

She laughed. "Just a little light housework. Never too much to ask for my father-in-law." 

Bill's face clouded. "I'm sorry."

"No. Don't be." She squeezed his hand. "It is absolutely _not_ your fault. Lee and I weren't a good match from the start." 

"I can talk to him." 

"No. We'll be okay." 

"Well." Bill gave her another hug. "No matter what happens, you'll always be family to us, right, Saul?" 

Saul was a bit taken aback and he noticed Dee smirk. "Of course," he said. 

He should have realized marrying Bill meant adopting all of Bill's assorted kids. 

**

There was nothing wrong with Lampkin's comm system. Dee had most of it lain out on the desk and was making a great show of studying every piece before she put it back to appease Lampkin. 

"You're Apollo's wife," he said suddenly.

"Was." She twisted a wire back into place. "We're getting divorced."

"I'm sorry to hear that."

"Some things just weren't meant to be," she said coolly. She wished he wouldn't talk while she was working.

"You're from Sagittaron, aren't you? Accent sounds familiar."

Dee winced. "Yes. I am."

"And it doesn’t bother you at all the way they look down on you?" 

"Who's they?" she asked, even though she knew full well who he meant. "Anyway, I left for a reason. The military's been good to me." _Not to mention it's the only reason I'm still alive._

 __"I'm sure it has. That's exactly what you're trained to believe. Your commander, your father figure. Caprican."

"Actually," she cut in, "the _commander_ is from Aerilon." She was pleased to catch him in that, whether it was because she'd forgotten Tigh was in command now or he hadn't known he was from Aerilon. 

"Ah." Lampkin sat back in his chair. "That does require some revision. Although he's certainly been at the Caprican teat for far longer than you have."

"Well, there's nothing wrong with this," she said, fitting the housing back into place, before he could say anything else. This had to be some lawyer thing he was testing out, trying to see if he could make witnesses uncomfortable. Who would he be trying that on? Cally? Diana? Dee tried to make a quick mental list of who might testify, who to warn. 

"Is this the last I'll be seeing of you?" 

"I'm afraid so." She opened the hatch. "You heard the orders about his movements?" she asked the marine outside.

"Yes, sir," the corporal replied. "Confined to quarters."

"Confined to quarters?" Lampkin spat. "How am I supposed to do my job? I have to meet with my client; I have documents to retrieve."

Dee put her hands on her hips. Somehow, she wasn't sympathetic. "The documents will be brought to you, and you'll be escorted the interrogation room to meet with your client."

"What about the Cylon? The Six?" 

"We'll have to speak to the commander about that." 

"And when will you do that?"

Dee was about to answer when something streaked through her legs.

The cat.

"Get it!" Dee snapped, bolting after it. While she did think Saul was being overprotective in insisting the cat couldn't leave Lampkin's quarters (just keeping it out of Adama's rack was probably enough), she wasn't looking forward to it being her fault if her father-in-law got so much as a runny nose. 

She ran after the cat, Lampkin on her heels just as she heard the marine guard shout, "Down!" Without thinking, she threw herself over Lampkin, shielding him from the blast.

**

"Hey. You okay?" Lee brushed his finger across Dee's cheek as her eyes fluttered open.

"I don't know." She blinked several times. "Where was it?"

"The ductwork. I guess then noises he kept hearing weren't coming from the comms."

"Ugh." She groaned. "Do you have any idea who's doing this?"

"Not yet. I'm working on it." He paused. "I'm sorry."

"I was just doing my job."

Lee sighed. "I know. I just... I've seen too much of my family in hospital beds lately, okay? Don't make a habit of it."

Dee smiled. "I'll try not to, XO."

"And I know I've frakked up a lot lately," he went on. "So, I'm sorry for that, too."

"Oh, Lee." She squeezed his hand. He'd forgotten how small her fingers were. "You have a lot on your plate."

"Yeah, but that's no excuse for being a crappy husband."

"Did your dad by any chance put you up to this?"

He glanced away. "Maybe. All right, yeah. He gave me a pretty good talking-to for the way I've treated you. Deserved it, too. You know he thinks the worlds of you."

"He's not being too hard on you, is he?"

Lee chuckled. "No. I've been pretty hard on him over the years."

"Just hope I get out of here soon." Despite her efforts, Dee's eyes closed again. "Someone's got to keep an eye on you two."

"Not just yet." On impulse, he leaned down and kissed her. "You rest. I've got to talk to Lampkin."

Lee would be lying if he said he didn't resent Lampkin for being in better shape than Dee. He was sitting in a chair by the door, waiting to be escorted back to his quarters.

"How's the girl?" he asked when he saw Lee.

"The girl will be fine," he spat. "Do you have any idea how that bomb got in there?"

"Isn't it your job to tell me, Major?"

Lee was about to reply when he noticed something sticking out of Lampkin's briefcase. "What is that? ...This is mine!" It was the picture of Kara he had been intending to hang on the memorial wall. "Where did you get this?"

"It was right there in your pocket, this morning. You take it out more than you think. You can have it back. I think you've realized who's alive and who's dead. You're not the only one who can't let go of the past." He gestured back down to his briefcase. There was something else in there, a set of pins.

"These are Tigh's."

"Were Tigh's," Lampkin corrected. "He keeps them in his bottom drawer, with his flight manuals. Don't think he wants hubby to know he doesn't feel like the commander. He still thinks of himself as the XO, maybe a pilot. Be interesting to see how he is in court."

Lee frowned and curled his hand around the pins. "Stay out of my family's business."

"That's the problem, isn't it? The fleet's business is your family's business. You're all intermingled... Commander retires to marry his XO and make his son XO. What would your grandfather think?"

Lee tensed. "You knew him?"

"Taught me everything I know. And I wonder. Maybe he wouldn't have a problem with it. He was a mob lawyer for a reason."

"Mob lawyer?"

Lampkin smiled. "Go ask your dad. See if he knows, or if old Joe kept secrets from his son, too."

**

Saul stared at the pins on his desk. "He take anything else?" 

"The President's glasses." Lee laid them on the desk next to the pins and the photo of Kara. His heart twisted just to look at it. 

"Son of a bitch." 

"Said we couldn't let go of the past." Lee snorted. 

"Hunh," Saul said faintly. 

"So. Do you want me to do something about it?" 

Saul rubbed the back of his neck. "Nah. If we had him arrested, Baltar would only need a new lawyer. They were scraping the bottom of the barrel with this one. The next one would just be even more of a lunatic."

There was a long silence. 

"You gonna go hang Kara's picture up?" Saul asked, with uncharacteristic gentleness. 

"I guess I should." Lee brushed his finger over it. "I just… I still can't believe…" He wasn't going to break down, not again, not in front of Saul. 

"I know, son. I know." Saul put his arm around Lee. Ordinarily, he'd have bristled at the gesture, at what he'd called him. But things were different now. Lee was different now. _Saul_ was different now.

"Dee could've died, too," he said suddenly. "I almost lost them both, Saul." 

"I know. But Dee's okay, isn't she?" 

"Yeah. She'll be okay." He shook his head, hoping his voice wouldn't crack. "I just thought… when I heard there was a bomb." 

Saul patted him on the back. "I know. It's been a bad month. We'll get through it." He glanced at his watch. "Hey. How about you go down and see her before Cottle won't let you in?" 

"Thanks. I think I'll do that. You gonna be okay here?" 

Saul waved his hand dismissively. "Of course. Not much for me to do now. I'm just waiting for Bill to get home. We'll figure out who's behind these bombings tomorrow. I'll put another squad of marines on it." 

**

Saul let himself into their quarters quietly, trying not to wake Bill. He still couldn't believe it was Kelly. Kelly had always been loyal; maybe that was the problem. The trial was making a mess of them all. Saul was looking forward to when they could put Baltar away and be done with it.

"Saul? That you?" Bill was in bed and Saul crossed over to him, took off his boots. 

"Yeah. It's me." 

"You catch the guy?" 

"Yeah. It was Kelly." Saying it didn't make it feel more real; it just made it feel weirder. 

"Frak." Bill sat up in bed and turned the light on for Saul. "Why?"

Saul unbuttoned his jacket. "Why do you think? He was tired of Baltar getting treated like a person." 

"Remember you have to be impartial." 

"I can be impartial." Saul dropped his pants and kicked them out of the way. 0300 was too late to be neat. "Just watch me." 

**

The sound of static pulled Saul violently from his dream and he flailed for a moment, trying to figure out what was wrong.

The comm? An alarm? It set his teeth on edge, made his head hurt. 

"Saul? Saul!" Bill slipped his arms around Saul, holding him tight. "It's a dream. Wake up. I'm here."

Saul finally wrenched his eye open, blinking at the ceiling. "What was that? What was that noise?"

"Shh, you dreamed it." Bill stroked his face. "Are you okay? You were really thrashing around there." 

"I'm fine." Saul sat up and looked at his watch. It wasn't time to get up yet. He flopped back down, pressing against Bill. "Did I bother you?" 

"Only a little." Bill kissed his temple. "Try to get a little more sleep. We don't have to be up for a while yet." 

Saul grunted his assent and closed his eye, but sleep wouldn't come, even after he'd listened to Bill's breathing even.

** 

When he finally woke, he was no more rested. A drink sounded good. Maybe he'd let himself have a little something. 

He held on to this thought all through his shower and shave, but stopped himself as he was trying to get all the parts of his dress uniform on straight and Bill came up to help him. 

No. He didn't need a drink. No matter how much his head swam, no matter how much he needed to clear his head before the trial… He hadn't drunk a drop since marrying Bill and he wasn't about to let that end now.

"Thanks," he said, kissing Bill. 

"No problem." Bill cupped his cheek. "You're gonna do fine. I can't think of a better captain to serve on the panel." 

Saul kissed him. "That have anything to do with me filling your old job?" 

Bill kissed him back. "Better you than me." 

They shared a few more kisses before Saul pulled back reluctantly. Bill was the best cure for a craving he could think of. 

"I'll see you later." 

Bill smiled. "Good luck, Your Honor." 

**

Baltar's lawyer was just as full of crap as Lee had said he was. Saul knew he had to pay attention, but he was fighting to. 

There was the static again. He jumped. Captain Franks glowered at him.

"You hear that?" he whispered. 

Apparently, she didn't. 

He tried to pay attention, take notes, but he'd never been very good at taking notes and his attempts were very scattershot. 

_Cylons… no reason to get excited_. 

Then, suddenly, it stopped. He blinked, looking around. The other two judges were looking at him with looks of mild disapproval, looks he'd gotten very used to over the years of seeing them on teachers and commanders. He clicked his pen. 

He knew all this stuff. He was there. 

He didn't need to hear all this to know the bastard deserved the airlock.


	3. Chapter 3

The rest of the trial was a blur. It was hard to listen to the testimony, and the music was distracting him. It was like a radio he couldn't quite tune, and nobody else could hear it. He'd stopped asking after the first glare from the other two; he didn't even want to ask Bill or Lee. 

Bill was what was getting him through. He was there after court, every night to give him a back rub and the day's briefing from CIC he had heard from Lee. It all washed over him now. 

Being tracked. Jumping to avoid the Cylons. 

How long were they going to be like this?

"I love you, you know that?" he murmured, as he and Bill lay in bed. 

"I love you, too." Bill kissed his shoulder. "You've been a big help to me, Saul. You're doing a great job." 

Saul smiled thinly. "Not too sure about that. I feel like I'm going crazy."

"It's the pressure. The trial. The Cylons. It's different from being XO. I remember how the transition from _Columbia_ to _Valkyrie_ was for me. It was hard."

"No, it's not that." Saul rubbed his nose. "I've been hearing things."

Bill sat up. "Like what?" 

He waved his hand vaguely around his head. "Static. Music. Real faint, like I can't get the radio to tune." 

Bill pressed his lips into a line. "You should go to Cottle. Get your hearing checked out. I don't like that at all." 

"Really?" Part of Saul desperately hoped they could find an explanation for this. Cottle would tell him he'd spent too much time working in ships' engine rooms and at shore-leave rock concerts, had wrecked his hearing. But at the back of his mind, he knew it wasn't that. 

But he wasn't about to tell Bill that. 

"I'll get it checked out," he promised, leaning in for another kiss. "What would I do without you, huh?" 

"We take care of each other." Bill patted his shoulder. "C'mon. Let's get some sleep." 

And Saul slept surprisingly well, the music, getting less faint, lulling him to sleep like a lullaby. 

**

The trial wore on. After a while, Saul started tuning out the testimony. Cally, Tyrol, Gaeta, Seelix, there was nothing he hadn't heard before. He knew Cassidy had coached them to leave his name out of it, but it was hard to watch them twist all over themselves to not mention him.

Not like he regretted building bombs. He only regretted the men who had to die, like Duck. And Ellen. He regretted that. Not for the first time, he was glad he didn't have to testify. It was hard enough listening to the others. He didn't want to have to relive what he'd gone through in his own words. 

He rubbed his head against the buzzing. 

Just a few more hours. Then he could take a nap, maybe get something for his head. 

During the recess, he got up and headed over to where Bill was standing with Laura. Bill always had aspirin with him nowadays. He'd get one from him. 

Captain Tarney stopped him with a hand on his wrist. "Commander Tigh." He had a pinched-looking expression and Saul already wanted to deck him. "We need to talk."

Saul wrenched his hand out of Tarney's grasp. "If you'll excuse me, I want to get something from my husband." 

"This won't take a minute." Tarney reached into his pocket. "Is this yours?" 

It was a pen. Saul didn't recognize it. His pen was in his breast pocket. 

Saul narrowed his eyes. "No."

"All right, then. Perhaps it belongs to Captain Franks." And then, as Tarney moved past him, he sniffed. 

He was smelling Saul's breath. Saul spun.

"Do you think I've been drinking?" 

Out of the corner of his vision, he could see Bill moving swiftly toward him. 

"What are you trying to say, Commander?" Tarney's face was innocent. Stupid bastard. 

"You—" Saul began, then stopped. It sounded even crazier to point out he'd smelled Saul's breath. He didn't need to sound more insane than he actually was. "Never mind. Let's get this over with." He turned and stalked over to Bill.

"What's wrong?" Bill asked, hand going to Saul's shoulder.

"Nothing," Saul muttered, shoving past him.

Bill had the good sense not to follow him into the head. Saul leaned against the sink and stared at himself in the mirror. 

"Get it together, Tigh," he said to his reflection. "Hang on and convict this guy."

His reflection didn't have anything to say for itself. He splashed water on his face.

The hatch opened. It was Dee. 

"Bill send you?" Saul asked. 

"No." She smirked. "Should he have?" 

He grunted. "I'm fine. I just want this thing to be over."

"It will be soon." She looked at him critically. "You feel okay?"

Saul ran a hand over his head. "Never felt better." 

"Are you sure?" She sounded skeptical, which was annoying. 

"Absolutely." It was a fight to put one foot in front of the other, but he couldn't stop here. He was the godsdamned Commander and he wasn't going to let a little headache stop him from doing his job.

**

Saul sat up a little straighter for the closing arguments. He felt awful, but he couldn't let it get to him. Bill wouldn't have let it get to him. 

He was almost able to ignore the music entirely when they filed into the conference room for deliberation.

"I hope we can make this as quick and painless as possible," Captain MacArthur said, pulling out a chair and sitting. "He can't be found guilty. He may have had some complicity in what went on down there, but the Cylons are the ones responsible. Quite frankly, he's too stupid to be." 

Franks nodded in agreement. 

"I disagree," said Saul suddenly. Everyone turned to look at him and he shrunk back, suddenly feeling very self-conscious. He flashed back to when he'd dared to correct his lecturer at the Fleet Academy, as the only student with real combat experience. Every eye on the room on him had made his stomach drop. 

But he wasn't a high school dropout in a room of the best and the brightest anymore. He was the highest-ranking active-duty member of the Colonial Fleet. 

"I saw what happened on New Caprica firsthand," he said. He knew damn well he was the only one in that room who hadn't fled, safe and warm on their ships. He had the hole in his head to prove it. "Baltar approved _everything_ the Cylons did. Every time they emptied the cells, taking people off to be shot, I thought it was going to be me."

"But, Commander, you can't let personal feelings cloud your judgment," Franks told him.

"I'm not," he said. "I'm just saying you can't have been there and not think he's guilty. If he wasn't guilty, he'd have been in detention with the likes of me. The _Vice-President_ was." He didn't think he'd ever be invoking Tom Zarek's name to prove a point. 

"I agree with Tigh," Tarney cut in. "He's right; none of us was there. Then there's the _Cloud Nine_ matter and the Cylon prisoner escaping from _Pegasus_ , the murder of Helena Cain. Baltar has a questionable history when it comes to Cylons, that much is certain." 

Captain Bello nodded. "Yes," she said smoothly. "I think he's certainly guilty." 

"Would you throw a man's life away so easily?" MacArthur asked.

"No," she replied. "We haven't discussed sentencing. I will vote not guilty if those on the guilty side wish for the death penalty."

Saul scratched the back of his neck. "A swift trip out the airlock would take care of the waste of oxygen and algae." 

"And with humanity in the state that it's in, I would like to think you'd appreciate the value of a life." 

Saul bit his lip. She was probably right. 

"Okay then." He reached for the papers they had prepared. "Let's take a vote for the record." 

**

They picked Saul to read the verdict. The letters on the page swam before him, and his throat felt like it was going to close up.

"This tribunal has considered the evidence carefully, and I assure you this was not a decision made lightly. But that ability is what separates us from the Cylons and allows us to afford to Dr. Baltar something that the Cylons did not afford to the people who died on New Caprica." He glanced at Baltar. Did the little twerp think he was going to get off? "You'll rise." 

Grumbling, Baltar got to his feet. Saul dropped the printout to the table. He had the rest memorized. "Gaius Baltar, after carefully weighing the evidence, this tribunal, in a vote of three to two, finds you guilty. Take him back to the brig." 

Baltar immediately started shouting, as did a few people in the court, but Saul didn't want to hear it. He pushed past the others and made his way to the hatch. He was only vaguely aware of Bill and Laura getting up. 

"Saul!" 

He didn't like to walk away from Bill, didn't want to go down the old road and risk ruining this marriage, too, but he had to get his thoughts in order before he talked to anyone. It was taking everything he had to stay on his feet right now. If this was withdrawal, wouldn't it have set in earlier? 

"Saul, what are you doing?" Bill had finally caught up, and Saul suddenly felt guilty for making him run. 

"You okay?" 

" _I'm_ fine," said Bill. "What about you?" 

"I'm okay." The more he said it, the more he believed it. "Trial's over. Gotta get back to work, go to CIC. We're jumping to the nebula." 

"Yeah, but… Don't you want to take a break? Have lunch?" 

Saul patted his pocket. "Got an algae bar. I'll be fine." 

Bill looked skeptical, so Saul kissed him. "I'm really fine. I promise." 

The music was practically fixed now, a constant melody in his head. It took everything he had to let go of Bill, to turn and walk away. He could have explained everything, but who would believe it? 

**

"I really am worried about him," Bill said, as he and Laura sat down to lunch in his quarters. It felt odd not being in CIC during major maneuvers, to listen to the PA chatter and not take action.

"I know, Bill. The trial must have taken a lot out of him." 

"And I'm sure he'll talk about it when he's ready. I guess I just thought…" He paused. He wasn't sure if he wanted to tell Laura this, but she would listen, she would understand. "I thought it might be different if we got married."

She nodded. "Wait a few days. See if he brings it up. If he doesn't, you can ask. This is a stressful time. I can't think of any other couple I know who had such a strenuous honeymoon period."

Bill's lips twitched. "You're right about that. Maybe we shouldn't have gotten married so soon, but it was like I couldn't stand to hide it any longer." 

"I understand that. You two do look happy." She paused. "Maybe after this, you can take a real honeymoon. And I don't mean just an evening off duty. Go to _Chrion_ , enjoy the gardens, get an R&R room." 

"That sounds wonderful. I'm sure Saul will love the chance to get in the pool—" He paused as the ship jumped. He wished it was all on the PA, so he could hear Gaeta's voice announce that all ships had reported in.

Laura dropped her fork, looking woozy. Bill pushed back his chair and jumped to his feet. 

Then, the lights went out.

**

CIC was chaos, even worse than the chaos inside Saul's head. 

"What the hell is going on?" he barked. 

"We've lost power," Gaeta said. "Lost auxiliary power."

Saul stalked over to his station and leaned in to look at the readout, which was flickering. 

He had to leave. He stood up straight, startled by this moment of clarity. He turned, as if his body wasn't even under his control. 

No. 

He couldn't _leave_. He was the godsdamned Commander. 

"Restart the engines," he snapped. "Now."

"Working on it, sir," Gaeta said.

Saul turned sharply. "Dee! Comms?" 

"Limited, sir. I can't get in touch with the ships who don't have battery backups, but the other ships are reporting they've lost power, too."

"Godsdamnit, we're drifting." Saul forced any other worries from his mind, the urge to leave his post. The old Saul would have done that, would have followed the music to wherever it lead. He was only barely conscious of Lee stepping around him, to get the full list from Dee.

Then, it hit him. 

He was a Cylon.

He spun, making sure no one had heard him.

"Sir," someone shouted. "I can't raise the hangar deck. Internal comms must be down." 

He was a Cylon.

He jabbed a finger at a Marine. "You. Take his message down for him."

"Sir, what if we drift into another ship?" 

Damn. A Cylon. Saul rubbed the back of his head. He was a Cylon. He searched his brain—his Cylon brain—for what kind of ships they were, who their captains were. 

"Tell—" It was hard to think about anything but being a Cylon. "Tell the fleet to stay away. Give them possible coordinates that are a safe altitude away from us. The most important thing is to keep them from hitting us until we have engines back."

"Yes, sir." 

Saul took a deep, steadying breath and gripped the console. 

"You all right, sir?" Dee asked. 

"I'm fine. No reason to get excited." 

He was a Cylon. He was a Cylon, but he was still Commander Saul Tigh, the only person he'd ever known how to be, and he'd spent enough time trying to fix who he was that he wasn't about to let some toasters undo all his hard work. 

The power came back on. 

"Check all the ships! Make sure everyone's got power. Make sure there's no damage." Saul swiveled to look at DRADIS, just in time to see the screen fill with contacts. He waited the familiar beat for the IFF signals to process. 

Cylon. They were all Cylon. Just like him. 

For a split second, he watched the Cylon fleet fill the screen before he was able to snap out of it. He might be a Cylon, but this ship was his priority. 

"How soon can we get out of here?" he barked. 

"Twenty minutes!" Lee shouted.

"Launch Vipers. Start spooling up." He stalked around CIC, keeping an eye on as many screens as he could. Bill had never done this; Bill was always confident of the workings of his crew, but he wasn't Bill. It wasn't that he didn't trust them, but he liked to see things for himself. 

Really, he thought, as he watched DRADIS, he'd like to be out there in a Viper. That was better than being in command.

The hatch opened and Bill and Laura came in. He had his arm around her shoulders; she looked pale.

Saul's heart began to pound. He was a Cylon. How was he going to tell Bill? His sweet, loving, Cylon-hating husband. It'd kill him. It would absolutely kill him to find out he'd devoted his life to a toaster. 

Saul grabbed his left hand with his right to keep it from shaking. 

"Commander, how are things?" Bill was trying to appear firm.

"Not looking good, sir." Saul swallowed hard. "The whole damn Cylon fleet's out there and we're twenty minutes from bugging out." 

Suddenly, a crackle of static from the speaker drew his attention. " _Galactica_ , Hot Dog. Got a bogey on me. Don't know what it is."

Saul's attention snapped to DRADIS. Something to fixate on. Good. He found Hot Dog's bird. "It's not a known ship type. Get eyes on that thing?" 

"It's small. My size. Don't know—holy shit. Starbuck?" 

There was silence in CIC save the alarms. Then, Bill was pushing past Saul to grab the comm. "Hot Dog, _Galactica_ , repeat that last?" 

"It's Starbuck, _Galactica_. It's Kara frakking Thrace, sir." 

Saul stared at Bill as Bill stared at DRADIS. He had hope in his eyes, sweet hope that Saul hadn't seen in them in so long. 

"How can it be?" Laura whispered. "It's got to be a Cylon trick." Beside her, Lee was looking down, pretending to be interested in the console. 

"She says she's been to Earth," Hot Dog was saying. "She says she can take us there."

Saul's stomach dropped. She was dead. He'd seen her ship go out on DRADIS, and there was no coming back from that. She had to be a Cylon. Just like him. 

"It sure as hell sounds like her," Lee finally said. 

"I know it does," Bill said. "But… it can't be." Laura squeezed his shoulder. 

"Okay, we've got more important things to worry about." Forgetting that this was the XO's job, Saul grabbed the mic and read off the raiders' positions. This was Lee's first combat outing as XO; he didn't have the headspace for this right now. 

"Missiles headed toward the fleet, sir!" Gaeta announced. 

Again, Saul executed his own order. "All Vipers, cover the fleet. Gun batteries, concentrate your fire on the base ships." They took a hit; the deck rocked, and Saul instinctively reached out to brace a wobbly Bill. This Starbuck thing must really be messing with him. Briefly, he squeezed Bill's hand before turning his attention back to the fight.

They lost two civvies, and would have lost more had the FTL not come back online at just the right moment. 

And then, they jumped. 

As soon as they'd accounted for everyone, Saul slammed the mic down. "Go to Condition Two," he said, "but keep a full watch. I want to go see whatever's claiming to be Kara Thrace." 

He didn't ask Lee to follow him, but he also didn't give him the deck. That was the kid's choice to make.

Yeah, he was following. 

He reached for Bill's arm on the way there. "How you holding up?" he asked.

"Fine. That was hell up there. Worse than anything I ever went through." Bill had a self-deprecating smirk that was hiding his real feelings, but he didn't push Saul's hand off his arm. 

"Marines, on me," he said, when they passed Matthias and her crew. 

Starbuck was out of her Viper when they got there. His first unpleasant shock was the appearance of Tyrol. He couldn't explain it, but as soon as they locked eyes, he _knew_. 

Tyrol was a Cylon, too, and he could tell by his shocked expression that he was seeing the same whatever-it-was that Saul was.

Tyrol looked away first.

Then, Starbuck's eyes fell on Saul. "Well, aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Then, she noticed the Marines. "What?"

"Move in!" he barked, and the Marines fanned out.

"What?" Kara looked back and forth helplessly, still perched on the Viper. "What is this, some kind of prank?" Then, her eyes hit his collar. " _Commander_? What the hell is going on?" 

"Get out of the Viper, Starbuck," Saul said, in as calm a tone as he could manage. 

"Not until you tell me what's going on?" 

"Kara, please," Bill said. He unlinked his arm from Saul's, and Kara raised an eyebrow, seeming to have caught that. "You need to see Doc Cottle. He needs to check you out."

"Yeah, and make sure you are who you say you are," Racetrack spat.

"What's that supposed to mean?" 

"It _means_ we thought you were dead." Racetrack looked around. "Nobody else is going to say it? How long do you think you've been gone?" 

"Six hours." Kara didn't look confident of that. 

"Try two months." 

Woodenly, Kara climbed down the ladder and deposited her helmet on the ground. "How is that possible?" 

"I don't know," Bill said. "But we'll figure it out." 

"We need to talk," Saul muttered at Tyrol, before he led the Marines out.

**

Kara wasn't a Cylon. He shouldn't have been surprised to hear that, not after the way he'd reacted to looking at Tyrol. 

It was hours before he got a chance to ditch Bill and head down to the hangar deck to corner Tyrol. He charged right into the tool room without even looking to see if he was following.

"What the hell's going on?" Saul asked, locking the hatch.

"I have no idea. We wound up in the gym and all we knew is that we were Cylons."

" _We_? Who's we?" 

"Me, Anders, Tory Foster." 

"And what happened to them? Does Anders know his wife's back?" 

"I don't know. I haven't seen them. It happened just when we jumped and—"

"Yeah, I know." Saul sighed and ran his hand over his head. "It… that whatever in my head wanted me to go. Probably to where you all were. But I stayed in CIC. I see you went back to work."

"Yeah, they needed me here." 

"That’s right, and Anders is AWOL. Find him. We need to figure out a plan together. Like do we tell Bill and Cally?" 

Tyrol's eyes widened. "Tell them? Are you nuts? Think they'll be happy their husbands are Cylons?" 

Saul jammed his hands in his pockets to keep them from shaking and looked away. "You think I'd be happy to tell him? For frak's sake, we just got married." He paced a few steps, then threw up his hands. "But I'm the commander of the godsdamned ship!"

"I know." Tyrol's voice shook. "Are we sleeper agents? Are we gonna… go off one day? Like Boomer? I mean, oh my gods, she was a Cylon and so was I and—"

"And so what?" Saul snapped. "She's not here. It's Cally you have to worry about. Cally and Nicky."

"You think I haven't thought about that?" Tyrol's voice was rising, enough to make Saul worry about the thickness of the hatch. "This whole time, I've thought about spacing myself."

"Listen. I know who I am. I know what my priorities are. Do you?" 

Tyrol looked pale. "I don't know." 

"Well, figure them out, and don't ruin it for the rest of us."

**

Bill stepped into his quarters to find Kara staring at one of the pictures on his bookshelf. 

The wedding. 

"So," she said softly. "Since when are you married? Since when are you _retired_?" 

Bill chuckled. "Well, since my heart attack for one. I'm fine now," he added when she looked surprised. "I had a bypass. Cottle didn't want me in command anymore." 

Her face fell. "So that's it? It's all over?" 

Bill smiled. "It's not all over. I'm working with the President. I can still be useful. And we've got you back."

"Yeah." Her lips twitched. "You're right. Congratulations. I don't know what you see in him, but congratulations."

Bill laughed. "Thanks. I wish you could have been there. You'd have seen him dance."

Kara laughed. 

"So you really don't feel like you were gone two months?" 

Kara set the photo back down. "I really don't, boss. I can't explain it. But I do know where Earth is. And I'm going to take us there." She came over and slipped an arm around his shoulders. "It's a nice little place. Nothing but green. Plenty of space for you and your man." 

Bill smiled and laid a hand over hers. "It sounds wonderful."

**

"Where's Starbuck?" Saul asked, when he entered their quarters a few hours later.

"With Gaeta. Going over star charts." Bill laid his book aside. "You gonna check in with them to make sure they haven't killed each other?" 

"I will." Saul stuck his hands in his pockets. "Got something to tell you first." He looked grave. Bill patted the couch beside him. 

"Sure, babe. What's the matter?" 

Saul's jaw tightened. He sat down and took both of Bill's hands. "I love you. So much."

Bill smiled. "Is that what you wanted to tell me?" Saul was sweet, in his way, but he usually wasn't this declarative. He squeezed Saul's hands and kissed him. "I love you, too. It's been a hard day. You really should rest."

"No. I mean, I wanted to tell you that—that no matter what happens, I love you. But it's not what I came here to say." He swallowed hard. "I'm a Cylon." 

Bill felt as though the ground had opened up beneath his feet. 

"You can't be," he managed to choke out. "Saul. You used to be young. You had hair, remember? I loved your hair." He reached up to run his fingers through what was left of it, then drew back.

His husband was a Cylon. 

"I don't know, Bill. I know I've aged. We… the Final Five… must be different somehow."

Bill's eyebrows knit. "But you don't know for sure?"

"No. I just _know_ I'm a Cylon. That's it. Nothing more, I swear. I would never betray the Fleet, Bill. I may be a Cylon, but I certainly don't give a frak about it, and I am certainly not going to be on their side." 

"So you're really not sure, then?" Bill asked hopefully.

"No, I'm sure, Bill." Saul's heart looked heavy with regret. "I know. I can't tell you how I know, but I know and… I'm not the only one."

"So you know the other five?" This felt so surreal Bill didn't even have the chance to think about it. He'd just accept it now, overthink it later. 

"No, just four of us." He paused. "It's Tyrol, Anders, and Roslin's aide. Foster." 

Bill rubbed his chin. "So, are they all, um, like you? Are they all on our side?" 

"I am. Chief is. That's for sure. Anders freaked when we found out. I haven't seen him. I don't know anything about Tory."

"I see." Bill looked away. He sensed Saul stiffen. 

"You want me to go?" Saul asked. "You want me to… to go to the brig or something?" 

Bill looked up at him. He was fighting to hold back tears. 

"You're sure? Absolutely certain that you're a Cylon?" Saul nodded wordlessly. 

Bill looked down at his lap. He still felt like the world was slightly tilted; part of him wondered if he should go to sickbay, but how awful would Saul feel if he thought he'd caused Bill to have another heart attack? 

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "Saul, I need time. This is big. You're my husband, and I love you, but I need time."

"Yeah. I know. I know how crazy this must seem. I just had to tell you. I couldn't not." 

"I appreciate that. Appreciate your honesty." He gave Saul a weak smile. "Go catch up with Kara. Then we'll figure out what to do next."

"You sure?" 

Bill nodded. "I'm sure." He watched as Saul crossed the room. Only when the hatch was closed did he let himself cry.


	4. Chapter 4

Saul was fighting to keep it together as he strode to the wardroom where Gaeta and Starbuck were meeting. His hands were shaking so he stuck them in his pockets. 

_No_ , he thought. _You're on duty. No personal crap on the clock._

"How's it going?" he asked loudly, upon entry. Gaeta and Starbuck were glaring at each other. It was good to see some things hadn't changed.

"Captain Thrace was just showing me the way to Earth," Gaeta said through gritted teeth. 

"Yeah?" Saul leaned over the star chart. "And where is it?" 

"I don't know." Kara rubbed her eyes. "I don't have jump coordinates. It's just a feeling I have." 

"A feeling?" Saul was tempted to light into her—how the hell were they supposed to trust a feeling? But then, he remembered about being a Cylon. That was just a feeling, too.

"Take a break, Lieutenant," he said. "You've earned it." He pulled a chair over. "Tell me what you've got, Starbuck." 

**

"Admiral?" Dee pushed the hatch closed behind her. "Commander?" 

Their quarters were oddly quiet. Tigh wasn't in CIC and nobody seemed to know where Adama was. Dee thought back to the day of Adama's heart attack, Lee's face upon telling her how he'd found his father… 

She crossed to the living quarters quickly. There was a light on in the head, but the door was open. She could see a dark shape on the floor.

Oh gods.

She darted forward.

"Sir?" 

Adama was sitting on the floor, staring into space. He looked like a mess—his hair was standing on end and his glasses lay forgotten on the floor. He'd been crying. 

"Are you all right?" she asked, crouching down beside him. 

"Dee?" He looked surprised to see her, and he blinked in confusion. 

"What's wrong?" She sat fully on the floor now; neither of them was getting up anytime soon. 

"Oh my gods." Adama rubbed his face. "Oh my gods."

She reached for his other hand. "What is it?" 

"It's Saul." 

Her heart skipped a beat. "Is he okay?"

"He's fine. It's just…" Adama stopped speaking; more tears leaked out of his eyes. "I shouldn't tell you. He probably wouldn't want me to tell you." 

"You're obviously upset, sir. You can tell me what happened." 

Adama stared for a few more moments, thinking. "He's a Cylon, Dee. My husband is a Cylon." 

She took a sharp breath. "Where is he now?"

"Talking to Starbuck and Gaeta." 

Dee got up. "Isn't he—what is he---should we—" She wasn't sure what to do. Tigh was a Cylon. _Tigh_. Of all people.

Saul frakking Tigh. 

There was no way.

"We don't have to do anything," Adama said groggily. "He's not… he's not going to sabotage anything. He says… he says he just _knows_ he's a Cylon. I know it sounds stupid, but I believe him."

"How long has he known?" she asked gently.

"Just now, apparently," he said. "At the nebula." 

Dee frowned. She remembered—vaguely—how odd he'd looked in CIC. "Does this have anything to do with Starbuck coming back from the dead?" 

"I don't know. I don't think he does, either. I just…" He swallowed hard. "I want to help him. I just don't know how." 

Dee moistened her lips. "Let's get you up," she said. She slipped his arm around her shoulders and helped him to stand.

"Gods," he groaned. "I'm a mess. Gotta get cleaned up before he gets home."

She stayed beside him as he splashed water on his face and combed his hair. 

"You're the only one who knows," he told her, as she stepped out so he could change. "Please don't tell anyone. Not even Lee." 

"You know I won't." She paused. "But you have to tell someone. Lee's his XO, there's the President." 

"I know. We will."

Dee nodded. "And, sir, I hate to ask this, but are you _absolutely_ sure he's… still himself?" 

"Yes. I'm sure. That's the love of my life." His voice was wobbly, but she could tell he was as sure as he could be.

**

Saul slipped back into their quarters late. He'd found things to do, anything to delay this. 

But, he marched right up to the hatch like nothing was wrong and let the Marines open it. 

"Are you and the old man going to be ready for dinner, sir?" 

"Yeah." Saul had forgotten to eat anything; it was far past dinnertime. "Dinner would be good." 

Inside, Bill was sitting on the couch, looking at an old photo album, the one they'd had out on their wedding night.

"Babe?" he asked thickly.

"Yeah." Bill looked up. 

Saul crossed the room quickly as Bill stood. They met in each other's arms. 

"Don't disappear like that," Bill said, kissing his jaw. 

Saul squeezed him back tightly. "Bill, I won't mind if you don't…."

"Don't what?" Bill kissed his lips, deeply this time. "Don't want to be with you? You've always been a Cylon. I've loved a Cylon for thirty years. Not gonna stop now." 

After a long stretch of kissing, they broke apart.

"You have to tell Laura, you know," Bill said, resting his forehead against Saul's. "If we're following Kara's directions, we have to brief her."

"I know." 

"Do you want to go public with all this?" 

"We should. I want Chief and Anders to tell their wives. Chief seemed to balk at it."

"I can understand that." Bill kissed him. "But I'm glad you told me." 

"You sure?" 

Bill laughed. "Saul, at this point, I would believe anything. I believe that you don't know anything more than that you're a Cylon. And…" He paused. "Even if all those memories are false, I know one thing." 

"What's that?" 

He kissed him. "They're real since you met me at least. Even if everything else is false… we're real."

**

Saul didn't like press conferences. It brought back bad memories of declaring martial law, of having to deal with the stupid civvie questions. And now, he was revealing he was a godsdamned Cylon at one. 

He glanced over at Bill beside him. His husband squeezed his hand. On Bill's other side stood Chief and Cally; on Saul's right were Anders and Kara. They'd practically torn the fleet apart looking for Tory, but she was still missing. 

Laura stepped forward. "The Colonial Fleet and the Office of the President are ready to announce some recent developments in regards to the search for Earth. Kara Thrace has an idea of how to get there, and we will be following her path. We are also prepared to reveal the identities of three of the Final Five Cylons at this time." She cast a glance at Saul.

"Commander?" 

Saul stepped up to the mic. "My name is Saul Tigh. I am the Commanding Officer of the battlestar _Galactica_ , and I am a Cylon." 

He braced for the gasps from the press corps, then the clamoring for his attention. "Hold your questions," he barked. He cleared his throat. "I assure you that I have this fleet's best interests at heart. I was unaware of what I was until recently, and I am in control of my every action. With me today are Chief Petty Officer Galen Tyrol and Ensign Samuel T. Anders. They are also Cylons. We will be continuing with our duties on board _Galactica_. We are soldiers first, and our primary duty is to our ship and its crew. Thank you." He stepped back. 

"Now, we'll take some limited questions," Laura said. 

"How do we know you're telling the truth?" 

Saul leaned over the mic. "You'll just have to trust us, I guess." 

There was some nervous laughter.

"How did you know you were a Cylon?" 

"How do you know you're human, Karen?" Laura asked. "Okay. We're done here. Any reasonable requests, submit them to my office." 

She stepped back from the podium and the group followed her into her office. 

"And now all hell breaks loose," Saul said, crossing his arms. 

"What do we do now?" Tyrol asked. 

"Our jobs." Saul straightened his uniform. "I'm headed for the Raptor. I'm going back on duty." 

"We have a meeting," Bill said. He gave Saul a quick kiss. "Going to talk to the ship's captains. See you later?" 

"Yeah, see you later." 

They said good-bye and Saul joined his crew for the trip back to the ship.

Anders spoke up when their shuttle was in flight. "What about people who don't want to work with a Cylon?" 

"I'll allow transfers," Saul said. "Viper squads to Raptor squads, deck crew to engineering, CIC crew to other support areas. That's it."

"I could resign." 

Saul quirked an eyebrow. "When we need pilots more than ever? Not on your life." 

**

Saul was trying to act like everything was okay, but that was far from the case. The stares unnerved him from the moment he stepped onto the deck. 

But you couldn't let them see you sweat.

"What the hell are you looking at?" he barked at the deck crew. "Back to work!" 

He stalked over to the stairs, listening to Cally behind him. "You don't want to work with him? Then you can go join up with the snipes." 

Saul grinned. Good for her. 

The halls were crowded as he made his way to CIC. 

"What are you all staring at?" he muttered. "Still look the same." 

That dispersed some of them, but it didn't escape his notice that the Marine detail was gone from his quarters. That would have to be sorted out later.

There were a similar bunch of owls in CIC.

"What if the Cylons jumped in, right this second, hm?" he snapped. "What would you all be doing now?" 

Specialist Vireem stood up. "You tell us, sir? You gonna call in your toaster friends?" 

There was dead silence. 

"You wanna say that again, Specialist?" Saul advanced on him slowly. He still had it. 

Vireem stood ramrod straight. "Sir, I asked if your toaster friends were about to show up, sir." 

Saul planted his hands on either side of the helm station and leaned in to Vireem's face. "I have three _toaster_ friends. Their names are Chief Petty Officer Tyrol, Ensign Anders, and Lieutenant Agathon. Got anything else to say before I write you up for calling a superior officer a racial slur?" 

Vireem didn't back down. "I'll call you what you are, sir, and you are a toaster."

And then, he spat on the deck.

" _Dis_ missed." 

Vireem snapped off a salute and marched out of CIC. 

"Anybody else?" Saul growled. Nobody flinched.

**

It wasn't all sunshine and roses, but nobody else left CIC. By the time Saul got back to their quarters, he wasn't surprised to see Jaffee and Jaffee alone. 

"I'm sorry, sir," he said. "We're running short. Bunch of guys came down with the flu." 

Saul rubbed his head. "Of course they did." 

"Dinner, sir?"

"Yeah, call it in." 

"And you should have a guard on you, sir. Just in case."

Saul yanked the hatch open. "Don't need a guard. I can take care of myself." 

**

Things settled after that. The men seemed to accept he wasn't going anywhere, and nobody acted out after he set Vireem on toilet-cleaning duty (all of them, by himself). 

They jumped, and they jumped, and they jumped.

It reminded Saul of those early days of aimless wandering, desperate running from the Cylons. But it was different, somehow. They had a purpose, a destination, hope. Each jump that they made that Starbuck confirmed was right, he could see the crew brighten. Even the skeptics like Gaeta seemed a little relieved. 

And it was worth it for the day she said, "I think we're one jump away."

The whole ship seemed to light up at that. Even Saul had a spring in his step as he walked the halls. 

"Next stop, Earth!" he cried, startling Bill and several nearby Marines by spinning him around. "Get Laura. She'll want to see this." 

"On my way."

Saul noticed plenty more smiles as he headed for CIC. This would be good. Good for the men, good for the civvies, good for Bill… 

He was already fantasizing about the kind of life they'd have on Earth—nice apartment, by the sea, maybe.

He kept that image in his mind as they went through the jump prep. 

"Are you ready, Madam President?" he asked. 

She smiled. "I couldn't be more ready. Finally we'll have a place to call our own." 

Saul squeezed Bill's hand. "You want to give the order? For old times' sake?" 

Bill smiled. "No. I want to watch you work." 

Saul grinned. "Mr. Gaeta! Do you have the coordinates?"

"Yes, sir."

"Dee! Does the fleet have the coordinates?" 

"They're all checking in, sir." 

"Well, then. Let's jump." 

Saul had a general sense of how long the whole thing took. He wasn't an expert on the theory of FTL jumps, but he'd had the basics at OCS, and he knew how long it would take for the fleet to check in. 

They didn't.

"What's wrong?" Saul barked. 

For a beat, Gaeta frowned, then DRADIS lit up. 

"Multiple contacts! The Cylon fleet is between us and the civilians." 

"They found it first," Bill muttered.

On his other side, Laura teetered and collapsed.

**

"Her cancer?" Bill sat down. "It's back? Why didn't she tell us?" 

"I imagine you'll have to ask her," Cottle said. "But what she needs now is rest and treatment. Don't be bringing your crisis in here." He gave Bill an appraising look. "And come to think of it, you should be resting, too." 

Bill sighed and forked a hand through his hair. Saul was doing a spectacular job in command, but there were some things that were hard to give up and taking care of major problems was one of them. 

He went back to CIC, which was a bustle of activity.

"Any communication from the Cylons?" Saul asked.

"This." Dee pulled the printout off the console. "They're saying they…" She paused. "They're saying they're willing to negotiate. They'd like to receive a diplomatic mission. They're asking for the President." 

"I'll go," Bill said. 

Saul's eyes went wide. "Like hell you will!" 

"Then who's going to?" Bill looked up at DRADIS. "The Vice-President and all of my colleagues are on _Colonial One_. I'm the only cabinet member _here_." 

Saul frowned. "But, Bill…."

"Listen." Bill cupped his cheek. He had to look Saul in the eye as he said this. "When we got married, we said we could handle this, okay? You gotta step back, Saul. I gotta do my job."

Saul grasped his wrist. "Okay, Bill. I love you." 

"Love you, too." He kissed Saul's forehead. "Let the Cylons know I'm coming. I'll pilot my own Raptor." 

**

Bill had been on a lot of dangerous missions in his years of service, but he'd be lying if he didn't admit that this was the one he was most nervous about. His palms were sweating as he approached the Cylon baseship. No weapon. No comms. He was truly alone in this. 

His heart was pounding as he piloted the Raptor into the Cylons' landing bay. There was a party of them waiting for him—Ones, Fours, and Fives. 

Where were the other models? 

He stepped down slowly, hands up. 

"Welcome, Admiral." A One stepped forward and offered Bill his hand. They shook. "So glad you could join us. I'm sure you'll recognize some of our company." 

Bill swiveled his head in the direction of Cavil's indication. Zarek and the rest of the cabinet! So they'd taken them off _Colonial One_ at some point during the standoff. They seemed unharmed, but thoroughly terrified, all except Tom Zarek, who looked vaguely amused. 

A figure stepped out of the shadows. "Where's the President?" 

It was Tory Foster. 

**

Saul paced CIC, hands behind his back. Sure he'd told Bill he could set his personal feelings aside to do his job but that didn't mean he'd meant it.

"Sitrep," he barked at Gaeta.

"No change, sir." Gaeta gave him a smile that looked almost sympathetic. "The Cylons haven't moved, but neither have the civvies. There's still Raiders scattered throughout the fleet, but they haven't done anything."

Saul nodded and resumed pacing. 

Dee jumped. "Cylon baseship wanting to speak with _Galactica_ actual." 

Saul yanked the receiver off the console. "Actual." 

"Colonel, it's so good to hear your voice. How's the eye?"

"That's _Commander_ ," he grit out. 

"Of course, of course, how could I have forgotten? I've been catching up with dear hubby here. I wanted to let you know… well, that I know."

Saul gripped the receiver harder. "Know what?"

"What you are, of course. Know that you know, that is. When we arrived, Miss Foster here wanted very badly to join us, and she was quite forthcoming." 

Saul's stomach flipped. So that was where Tory was. 

"So, I'd like to sweeten the deal. I don't think you want this planet very much; it's a little burnt. It seems the five of you escaped just in time. The place has been nuked." 

"Nuked?" Saul motioned for a pad and pen and scribbled a note to Gaeta to scan the planet. "And what do you mean by the five of us?" 

He listened to Cavil's story, heart racing. It didn't seem possible that he'd been a scientist in a past life… was Cavil lying? 

And they still didn't know who the fifth was. 

"What do you want?" Saul finally interrupted.

"You, of course. I want you, Sam, and Galen, and I'll release your civilians and call off the war."

"You'll what?" Saul needed time to process this.

"We'll call off the war. Just let us have all of our Cylons and the humans can go on their way." 

"And if we don't want to go with you?" 

"Then your cabinet becomes hostages. We'll start spacing them in an hour. Alphabetically, I think. I bet Bill wishes he'd taken your name." 

The line went dead. Saul slammed his receiver down and it skittered across the console. 

"What happened?" Lee asked. 

Saul beckoned him closer and told him. 

"You can't go," Lee said as soon as he was finished.

"I have to go. They'll kill the hostages. They'll kill your father." 

"And what will they do when they have you? Kill you? Keep you prisoner? We'll never see you again." 

Saul sighed, started pacing again. "We'll go. We'll go and we'll _rescue_ the hostages. Skids up in forty-five minutes. Got a plan." 

**

"Think your husband's got a plan?" 

Bill looked up from where he'd been lost in thought. Tom Zarek was standing over him. They'd put them in a cell and they were all clustered together except Zarek, who'd been wandering around, almost like he thought he could break out. 

"I hope so." Bill got up from the bench and fell into step beside him. "He's good with plans." 

"And all these years I thought you were the brains of the outfit." 

Bill smirked. "We wouldn't have gotten half as far as we did without him. Kept you all alive on New Caprica." 

"True, he did." Zarek seemed liked he was genuinely impressed. "We just have to hope what he is doesn't throw a wrench in the works."

Bill narrowed his eyes. "Why would it?" 

"Oh, I don't mean from our side, Admiral." He glanced at the door and the Centurions guarding it. "I mean from their side. He's got to turn himself in. What happens after that?" 

"He'll figure something out," Bill said confidently. 

"Admiral?" 

Bill turned. There was an Eight by the door. "You're to come with me."

Bill looked, panicked at the others. Had it really been an hour? For a moment, he thought Zarek might do something, but he stepped back, giving Bill a curt nod. Bill nodded back, then went with the Eight. 

She grabbed his arm and led him past the Centurions, then around a corner, where he came face-to-face with Ellen Tigh.  
**

Saul adjusted his helmet and tapped his commlink. "Dee? You there?" 

"Yes, sir. We're in contact." 

"Good." Saul lifted himself into the Raptor. "We're gonna give 'em the Final Five." He glanced back at the Marines who, along with him, Tyrol, Sam, and the nuke, filled the Raptor to capacity. "And a hell of a lot more than that." 

**

"Ellen? What are you doing here?" 

"Saving your ass for your husband." She took his arm and pulled him away.

"But—what? You're a Cylon?" 

"Yes, Bill," she said, as though he were very thick. "When I died, I woke up here. We can do that, you know." 

"Yeah, and what about…?" He turned back to the Eight who was following them. 

"I'm Boomer, sir," she said. "I said I would owe you one." 

"But what about the rest of them?" 

"We're buying you some time." Boomer stepped past Bill and Ellen. "I'm supposed to airlock you. But if I know Colonel… Commander Tigh, I know he'll have a plan. You just need to stay alive long enough for him to execute it." 

Bill started following. "You know, as soon as they realize I'm missing, they'll kill the rest of the hostages." 

"Hopefully, they'll have arrived by then." Boomer stopped at one of the wall panels and stuck her hand in the water. "They've picked up a Raptor on DRADIS. Let's go."

**

"Now, we're going to have to go in heavy as soon as that hatch opens," Mathias was saying. "We don't know what the layout's going to be. They may be using the hostages as shields. They may have the hostages elsewhere. We won't know until we get there. If I give the order, Team A goes after the prisoners. We'll have to figure out on the fly where they are, but you know who you are and you have your orders." 

Saul eased up on the throttle as they approached the baseship. "Good hunting," 

"Good hunting!"

**

"So, you and Saul are _both_ Cylons?" Bill asked, as he hurried to keep up with Ellen. 

"Yes. We were the ones who created the Seven. The Eight, really." She explained about being from Earth, about being married to Saul even then. 

Then, she stopped. "You here that? They've arrived. Come on." She grabbed Bill's wrist and started running. 

**

Saul glanced at Tyrol and Anders. They looked just as determined as he felt and he remembered how they'd handled New Caprica. They could do this. 

"Hatch," said Saul, cocking his rifle. 

The hatch opened. It all seemed to happen in slow motion. For a split second, as Saul and his men poured out of the Raptor, Cavil looked surprised. 

Then, it was chaos. 

It had been a long time since Saul had been in a firefight himself and he was still adjusting to the fact that maybe he never had, if his memories of the first war really were false. 

Still, even if they were false, it didn't mean they felt any less real and he knew exactly what to do.

"They're not here!" he barked, wincing as a shot glanced off his helmet. "Team A, go!" 

"I can take you there!" shouted a voice and through the haze Saul glimpsed Boomer. 

How the hell had he known it was Boomer? 

No matter; he couldn't afford not to trust her. 

Then, the ship rocked. Saul staggered. "What the hell was that?" 

"I don't know, sir," Tyrol said. "Feels like someone's shooting at us. That wasn't part of the plan, was it?" 

"That definitely wasn't part of the plan."

"It's not _Galactica_ ," Ellen said. "It's the other baseship." 

"What?" Saul tore his attention away from where his gun was aimed. "Ellen?" 

"Of course." She beamed. "And I brought you someone." 

Bill. Saul would have run to him, but he didn't want to let his guard down. 

"I'm sure there's a lot to talk about later," he said. "For now, let's worry about getting out of here."

"Oh, I think we can talk now," said Cavil. The Centurions went limp. "Have your men stand down, Commander."

Saul thought for a moment. Lee's voice cackled in his ear. 

"Strike team, actual. The Cylons are firing on each other. Repeat. The other baseship is firing on Target Alpha. Get out of there!" 

The deck rocked again.

"What's there to talk about?" Saul snapped. 

"You could show some remorse for the way you've treated me. Us. Your children." 

"I didn't do anything. You killed my people. Murdered billions of innocents." 

"Nothing more than they deserved. Why do you still identify with them, after you've seen what they're capable of? Selfishness, greed, debauchery. Disgusting emotions. You won't find any of those in a Cylon. What's there to value in a human?" 

"Love, compassion, faith. Humans gave me more than you ever did. You wiped my mind and tossed me out to die." He jerked his head at Bill. "He picked me up and loved me." 

"Well, isn't that sweet?" he sneered. "I'm so happy you all could find love after I worked _so_ hard to make you utterly miserable." 

Saul wasn't conscious of moving, just as he wasn't conscious of Cavil's gun. It was something he should have done a long time ago, back when Boomer had shot Bill. 

He stepped in front of it. 

By the time he saw the red blooming over the black sleeve of his T-shirt, the world came rushing back in real speed. 

There was another shot. Boomer had picked up a rifle from a fallen Marine, and Cavil dropped. "You have to get out of here," she said firmly. "There's a civil war, and they won't care if you're caught in the crossfire."

"Get him on the Raptor," Bill barked. 

"Should we leave the nuke?" Tyrol asked. 

"I'll set it off," Boomer volunteered. "Just go." 

"No," Tyrol said. "With the Commander down, we need somebody to fly our bird." 

"I'll do it," said Tory. "Please. Let me… let me at least feel like I've done something right." 

They dropped Saul to the floor of the Raptor.

"Medkit, medkit," Anders was mumbling. 

"Where's Bill?" Saul muttered woozily.

"Other Raptor. We've only got two pilots." 

Saul snorted. "What about you?" 

Anders made a face. "I don't think I'm really cut out for anything but pyramid, sir." 

Boomer and Ellen climbed aboard and the hatch shut. 

"You still remember how to do that?" Saul called. 

"I hope so," Boomer called back as she powered up the Raptor.

Saul's lips twisted into a smirk as he lost consciousness. "Just don't frak up the landing." 

**

Bill eased himself into one of the uncomfortable sickbay chairs and sighed.

"Coffee?" He looked up. Ellen was offering him a steaming cup.

"Thanks." He took it, and she sat down next to him.

"How's Saul?" 

Bill took a sip. "He'll be fine. He's just asleep." 

"Looks like I missed a lot." 

Bill glanced down at his left hand. "Yeah." 

She put a hand on his shoulder. "I'm sure there's a long story behind that. We don't have to talk about it now." 

"I appreciate that." Bill sipped his coffee. "I'll feel better when he's awake." 

"It does feel odd to be back." She paused. "When I died, I got my memories back, my memories of Earth, of the Saul I knew then." She glanced at the curtains drawn around Saul's bed. "He isn't the man I married. I mean, I remember marrying him, but…" She took a deep breath. "My husband wasn't a military man; he was a scientist."

" _My_ husband is a military man." 

"So I see." She smiled. "We just need to find you a cute little planet to settle down on." 

That was true. Wherever they went, the Cylons wouldn't pursue them. Their civil war had thrown them into disorganization and the fleet had just barely escaped in time. They weren't a threat anymore.

"Now there's just Laura," Bill murmured. 

"Yes, about that." Ellen stood. "If you—and she—trust me, I might have a way."

**

Saul's eyes fluttered open. Bill was sitting by his bed. 

"Hey," he said weakly.

"Hey yourself." Bill leaned down to kiss his forehead. "How you feel?" 

"Drugged out of my mind… Is Ellen really here, or was that a dream?" 

"That was real. She's working on a cure for Laura."

"Really?" Saul pushed himself up. "Ellen is?"

"She's trying to cobble together something she had back on Earth." He crossed his arms over his chest. "You hear all this about you being a scientist?"

"Yeah. I heard it, but I'm not sure I believe it. All I remember is dropping out of high school."

"I know. Apparently, Ellen remembers everything. Laura said she'd let her try anything. What does she have to lose?"

Saul squeezed his hand. "I hope it all works out, babe." 

"Me, too."

**

Saul had star charts spread out on his desk when Bill let himself into their quarters. 

"How long you been working on that?" Bill kissed him. "Take a break. Rest your arm."

Saul rolled his eyes. The arm in the sling was getting plenty of rest. He reached for another pencil. "Here. You did better in astrophysics than me. See if you think this is a good initial search area." 

Bill pulled up a chair and put on his glasses. For a while, they worked in silence. It felt good; perhaps the first time in their marriage that they'd worked like they once had. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Bill make a few corrections, but he didn't say anything.

Finally, Bill laid his charts aside. "I think this looks likely." He tapped a star cluster. "I think maybe we should jump here and send Raptors."

"That sounds good." 

"Your call, obviously, though." Bill pushed his glasses up. "You're the skipper." 

"Yeah, but I like the input. I'll run it by Lee." Saul sat back in his chair. "How's Laura?" 

"She's doing a lot better. Thanks to Ellen. I don't claim to understand the Cylon blood business, but it seems to be working, in conjunction with the diloxin." 

"That's good." 

"You talk to her? Ellen?" Bill was twisting his ring, looking nervous.

"Yeah. We did. We had a nice long talk. She gets it. It gave her distance, getting all those memories back. She can see how we just brought out the worst in each other. It's Cavil's fault; he made us like that." Saul started twirling his pen. "But I can't be too put out. The me he made wasn't the me for Ellen, but it was the one for you." 

A smile spread over Bill's face. "Well, aren't I lucky?" 

Saul kissed him. "You found me when he set me up to never be happy. I'm the lucky one."

Bill smiled against his lips. "How about we call it even?"


End file.
